God does not hate you. He actually is madly in love with you.
I was pondering this as I washed my face, getting ready for bed. It was once again evidently clear that God loves me like a lover; He wants me to be happy.
How did I grasp this point? The shower of blessings He pours on my lap daily, gently showing me that He notices and cares. Like I’ve shared with friends recently, it’s like He is that guy, checking on me throughout the day, leaving messages, telling me I can call and talk to Him any time I like because He loves hearing from me. I see this in the sunrise, I see it when I pray that if it is His Will, a bus will be a little late so I don’t have to be a lot late to class (and then it shows up). I see it in the way He takes situations that others (and sometimes myself) are skeptical about, and makes it into something beautiful. I’ve found that, if you’re looking for the things God is doing, He reveals Himself. In fact, I think He wants to be attentive to the little things in your life, if you’re willing to ask and then credit it to Him when you receive.
I see it in the way that every time I’ve been out at the stadium, dropping my car off and then attempting to brave the cold walk home, He always answers my prayer for a ride of some sort if I’m so cold and miserable I take the time to ask.
I see it when I somehow made peace with a person everyone pretty much told me to stay away from… coincidence? I don’t think so. I prayed and had several people praying, and the situation changed, almost overnight. It was beautiful, even though I am still praying for that person’s salvation.
I see it when God knew my shallow, stubborn, and deceitful heart, and knew how to break my will, but waited until I asked Him to. I see it when He humbled me further, and I learned that He is the only bit of good credit I have to my name. I see it when He knew that last spring I would have been too vain and self-righteous. I see it when He continues to teach and humble me if I am willing to submit. I see it when, despite all the trouble and pain I cause, I am given forgiveness, joy, and countless things I don’t deserve.
I see God when I look at the home in which I was raised, and the family that has grown so much, while I was growing up. I see God in all my former teachers, and the green pasture of a school I was made to lie down in when I was naught but a silly sheep of a child.
I see God in my sister’s compassion and love, and in her recovery from a 15-25 foot fall from a tree onto cement. I see God in my baby brother, rejoicing in Christmas not for toys, but for Christ’s birth, and literally walking me through the tract of the bridge diagram, calmly explaining how I can know Jesus. I see God in my brother’s secret heart; the one hidden behind the hide of a fourteen year old that occasionally is apparent to me in the way he always wants to take off somewhere with me or bugs me constantly because my attention is important to him. I see God in my mother’s handwriting that covers offices of friends and pages upon pages of notebook paper- all praising God, and offering comfort, love, and encouragement. I see God in my earthly father, who will sit down at a meal or after he gets home from work and just listen to what is going on in my life. I saw it in the way he used to scrape and heat up my car in the winter during high school or how he used to make me a hot dinner after basketball practice on the nights he was home. I see it in the Valentine card he sent, and in my baby brother who sent me one first because he missed me.
I see God when I realize that I have been a passenger of 3 totaled cars, and was driving for 1 collision, and 6 consecutive donuts on black ice on the tightest and worst turn ramp on earth, resulting only in having the car turned around off to the side; not even in the ditch. I see it when I attend the visitation of a friend who was only in one car accident, but it was his last.
I look at my life, and sometimes I have to say, “Why me?” because what did I ever do to deserve this wealth?? Absolutely nothing.
I saw God when I was washing my face because I had prayed that no one would be at the sinks while I was rinsing my sinuses (which is annoying, awkward, somewhat embarrassing in front of people who have no idea what is going on)… and no one walked in until I was literally walking out the door, as if God were trying to say “See? I can easily keep them away for a little bit; you just have to ask.”
He LOVES you. Seriously. You are His own and He wants to shower you with gifts and tokens of affection, if only you would pay attention. Relationships take work; it never goes well if only one half is trying. Open communication is never a bad idea either.
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