Weblog

Friday, 27 March 2009

Friday, 20 February 2009

  • Take a look around...

    God does not hate you. He actually is madly in love with you.

    I was pondering this as I washed my face, getting ready for bed. It was once again evidently clear that God loves me like a lover; He wants me to be happy.

    How did I grasp this point? The shower of blessings He pours on my lap daily, gently showing me that He notices and cares. Like I’ve shared with friends recently, it’s like He is that guy, checking on me throughout the day, leaving messages, telling me I can call and talk to Him any time I like because He loves hearing from me. I see this in the sunrise, I see it when I pray that if it is His Will, a bus will be a little late so I don’t have to be a lot late to class (and then it shows up). I see it in the way He takes situations that others (and sometimes myself) are skeptical about, and makes it into something beautiful. I’ve found that, if you’re looking for the things God is doing, He reveals Himself. In fact, I think He wants to be attentive to the little things in your life, if you’re willing to ask and then credit it to Him when you receive.
    I see it in the way that every time I’ve been out at the stadium, dropping my car off and then attempting to brave the cold walk home, He always answers my prayer for a ride of some sort if I’m so cold and miserable I take the time to ask.
    I see it when I somehow made peace with a person everyone pretty much told me to stay away from… coincidence? I don’t think so. I prayed and had several people praying, and the situation changed, almost overnight. It was beautiful, even though I am still praying for that person’s salvation.
    I see it when God knew my shallow, stubborn, and deceitful heart, and knew how to break my will, but waited until I asked Him to. I see it when He humbled me further, and I learned that He is the only bit of good credit I have to my name. I see it when He knew that last spring I would have been too vain and self-righteous. I see it when He continues to teach and humble me if I am willing to submit. I see it when, despite all the trouble and pain I cause, I am given forgiveness, joy, and countless things I don’t deserve.
    I see God when I look at the home in which I was raised, and the family that has grown so much, while I was growing up. I see God in all my former teachers, and the green pasture of a school I was made to lie down in when I was naught but a silly sheep of a child.
    I see God in my sister’s compassion and love, and in her recovery from a 15-25 foot fall from a tree onto cement. I see God in my baby brother, rejoicing in Christmas not for toys, but for Christ’s birth, and literally walking me through the tract of the bridge diagram, calmly explaining how I can know Jesus. I see God in my brother’s secret heart; the one hidden behind the hide of a fourteen year old that occasionally is apparent to me in the way he always wants to take off somewhere with me or bugs me constantly because my attention is important to him. I see God in my mother’s handwriting that covers offices of friends and pages upon pages of notebook paper- all praising God, and offering comfort, love, and encouragement. I see God in my earthly father, who will sit down at a meal or after he gets home from work and just listen to what is going on in my life. I saw it in the way he used to scrape and heat up my car in the winter during high school or how he used to make me a hot dinner after basketball practice on the nights he was home. I see it in the Valentine card he sent, and in my baby brother who sent me one first because he missed me.
    I see God when I realize that I have been a passenger of 3 totaled cars, and was driving for 1 collision, and 6 consecutive donuts on black ice on the tightest and worst turn ramp on earth, resulting only in having the car turned around off to the side; not even in the ditch. I see it when I attend the visitation of a friend who was only in one car accident, but it was his last.

    I look at my life, and sometimes I have to say, “Why me?” because what did I ever do to deserve this wealth?? Absolutely nothing.

    I saw God when I was washing my face because I had prayed that no one would be at the sinks while I was rinsing my sinuses (which is annoying, awkward, somewhat embarrassing in front of people who have no idea what is going on)… and no one walked in until I was literally walking out the door, as if God were trying to say “See? I can easily keep them away for a little bit; you just have to ask.”

    He LOVES you. Seriously. You are His own and He wants to shower you with gifts and tokens of affection, if only you would pay attention. Relationships take work; it never goes well if only one half is trying. Open communication is never a bad idea either.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

  • Upon the Death of Tyler Toll

    Tyler Toll passed away on Tuesday, February 10, 2009, as a result of a fatal car accident occurring at about 8:30 a.m. I went to high school with him. He was going to graduate in 3 months.

    The news story here.

    A poignant moment in all of our lives is when we realize just how fragile these corporeal frames are. We think we’re indestructible, especially in our youth. The truth is, we are, but our bodies are not. But the one who dies in his youth, he is the one that truly is indestructible, and for as much as it breaks my heart, he is forever young. Forever young with heavy broken hearts burying him like the pounds dust to which he returns.
    For some reason, we think it’s not fair. We think somehow that just by drawing breath, we deserve to live a full and long life. It’s human simplicity, the stubbornness of a child that demands our way and our life, even if we know better. The injustice seems so blatant, so insolent because we never expect to leave this place until we’re ready.
    It’s not funny, but almost ironic in a sense, that the last thing you let the world know was that you really wanted to watch Free Willy; the irony that you were killed on the way to school by a collision with a school bus of all things, that under your profile picture you said “I'm just a normal guy who loves cars and driving fast and is trying to live my life the best I can.” And maybe you were driving fast.
    Did you know that this was it? Do you remember the siren lights or your mother’s anxious face? Were you in pain? What were you thinking, smashing your car underneath the bus? The photograph of that red scrap of metal literally stuck to the bottom of the bus will haunt me for awhile.
    But thank you for waking us up; sometimes we need to be reminded of the beauty and value of life, and it is so great to know that we will see you again.

    Who am I, O God, that You should grant me favor enough to live? What have I to offer for such a gift? I have done nothing of merit, I am humble, on my face, before You; less than a speck of dust in Your Sight. Teach me to number my days aright.
    Psalm 90

    BOOK IV : Psalms 90-106

    A prayer of Moses the man of God.

    1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
    2 Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the earth and the world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

    3 You turn men back to dust,
    saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

    4 For a thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night.

    5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
    they are like the new grass of the morning-

    6 though in the morning it springs up new,
    by evening it is dry and withered.

    7 We are consumed by your anger
    and terrified by your indignation.

    8 You have set our iniquities before you,
    our secret sins in the light of your presence.

    9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
    we finish our years with a moan.

    10 The length of our days is seventy years—
    or eighty, if we have the strength;
    yet their span [a] is but trouble and sorrow,
    for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

    11 Who knows the power of your anger?
    For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.

    12 Teach us to number our days aright,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

    13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
    Have compassion on your servants.

    14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

    15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
    for as many years as we have seen trouble.

    16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
    your splendor to their children.

    17 May the favor [b] of the Lord our God rest upon us;
    establish the work of our hands for us—
    yes, establish the work of our hands.

Thursday, 05 February 2009

  • fascinating

    Interpersonal communication is fascinating. There are so many things that affect the ways we interact with each other. Prior experience, personal preference, flexibility, values, and even just plain temperament all play important parts. For instance, you may be taken aback by someone’s rude remark, but maybe you didn’t know that a car ran over their dog this morning, and your comment about all dogs dying in books wasn’t appreciated. Maybe their relative was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Maybe they never learned how to answer nicely because they were never shown any love.
    The question is, what are you going to do about it? “You can’t control the way other people react, you can only control your own actions.” The maxims of my childhood are once again returning to haunt me.
    This is not to say that you should excuse every kind of bad behavior to some unknown cause, but rather, the way you react to such behavior can really set the tone of that relationship. The way you react to any speech is important (such as, if your parents say they love you, a blank stare and then ignoring them and walking away doesn’t spell out love or respect for them). But what do we do with these situations that challenge our natural reactions to be defensive, jumping to conclusions, distracted, argumentative, or angry? What do you do when someone corrects you? Accept it or stick to the fact that you are “right”? Do we have enough humility and self-control to react in a way that is a credit to ourselves (or to God, if that is who you recognize as authority)?
    Furthermore, do we have the wisdom, discernment, and courage to step out of our comfort zones and correct people in love? It is such a touchy topic because not many people can gracefully admit when they are wrong- that’s why it is so refreshing when they do. I recently had a friend apologize not only to me but to several people because they felt as if their actions reflected poorly on themself (yes, I just used “themself” to protect identity). It is certainly necessary sometimes as I can tell you from a camp counslor’s perspective, but I feel it is even more difficult if they are a peer and not someone you are responsible for. Could you tell your best friend if they did something you didn’t like? How about your significant other? I also wonder where the line is drawn- I mean I don’t want to be knit-picky about details, but how do you address something that is not necessarily wrong, but just bothers you? I find that it is a matter of personal preference. We all would like our own way, but life is not about getting your own way.
    I have to hand it to Christ for setting the bar on this one. He served others, took a lot of flack from others, yet He still corrected His disciples, and spoke truth.

    “My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:11-12

    We are corrected because we are loved, and it is by God’s standards we are corrected. With this in mind, if we are to love others the way Christ loved us, we should correct people if we love them and if they count themselves as Christ-followers who want to go by what He says.

    “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:14-15

    Correction is necessary for spiritual growth. However, it’s important to remember to do so in LOVE, not with anger or lack of self-control. Unfortunately, a lot of people who aren’t Christians but have talked to them seem to think we are all judgmental, and frankly, quite rude. It’s true that absolute truth exists, and that we shouldn’t lie to people or tell them they are ok if they’re not, but yelling doesn’t have the same effect as logical thinking. It truly is up to them, and it is not us who persuades, but God through us as He desires. I couldn’t say it better than Paul does in Romans.

    “9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
    14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

    17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
    "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

    Romans 12:9-21

Saturday, 31 January 2009

starrgirl_07

  • Visit starrgirl_07's Xanga Site
    • Name: Rachel
    • Metro:
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/21/2005

Weblog Archives

Don't worry - your calendar is here… to see it in action just click "Save" above and refresh the page.